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JUNIOR YEAR PICTURES!
I always had a reason to smile!
June 17, 2007
I'm going to be a senior in 4 days![: I get this crazy weird feeling in my stomach when i think about how fast this school year went by. Junior year was one hell of a rollercoaster ride! I remember when people used to talk to me about high school, they always told me that JUNIOR year will either be the best or worst. For me, it was both.
I haven't exactly written in this xanga since the beginning of Junior year, and man, i wish i did write throughout the whole year so right at this time i could look back and see what was going through my head! I've gone through every possible emotion this whole year: happiness, extreme happiness, satisfaction, excitement, anxiety, stress, sadness, depression, denial, anger, hate, disappointment, embarrassment, fear, uncertainty, longing, jealousy, comfort, reassurance, optimism.
I'm glad i went through all that. Maybe at one point in time, i would have never imagined me saying that cause i distinctly remember myself begging for a time machine that can turn back time, because all i wanted to do was REWIND & have a do-over. My problems were probably infinitesimal compared to what others have gone through, but i learned a lot. *Enter cheesy music, please* HAHA, honestly. I am still my immature, insecure, confused self, but with a little more insight about certain things.
Throughout this whole school year, my appreciation for my parents have tremendously increased. It's crazy. I can't imagine how they could keep up with not only me but my two spoiled brothers! With all the stress and disappointments that came this year, I know i've been a total pain when i'm in the house, but they were so understanding. I guess i always underestimated how patient and considerate my parents could be.
My friends have also been amazing. I looooooooooovvveeeeeeeeeee them. One thing i take pride in is that DAMN, i'm good at surrounding myself with the best people.[; I'm grateful for my friends because they were with me through the high's and low's. I owe everything to my close knit of girlfriends♥ When i felt down, they came to the rescue. They probably don't know how much they have helped me. They do the sweetest things. They cheered me up when i was emo, and i never laugh as much as i do when i'm with them! I wish everyone would get our jokes & have as much fun as we do because what they say is true, laughter is thee best medicine. And gosh, just listening to me rant about EVERYTHANG, these kids should get statues.
I don't even know how to pay them back. I can only wish that i have given them the same feeling of comfort, reassurance, and security that they gave me when they needed it.
I seriously learned alot this year. There's so many words i said, things i did, and decisions i made that i wish i could take back! But all I can do now is learn from it. It sucks though, how petty things can get to you. This year, I've also been more careful about trusting people, that way, when they let you down, it won't be as painful. But it's okay. We're human, we're allowed to let our guard down, we're allowed to make mistakes, we're allowed to wallow in our hurts. It's weird how simple experiences change us. At some point in the future, i know i'll be more forgiving and less bitter. I'll learn to let go of grudges, that way, it'll be easier to go on. There won't be awkward moments and there won't be anymore feelings of regret. But in my own time, my own [VERRRRYYY SLOW] pace. Haha, trust me oh how i wish i'm not like how i am when it comes to these things. It's just who i am, i exaggerate and hold on to things too much.
But yeah, I've been so preoccupied with so many different things this year that i totally slacked off in school. I admit, i didn't have my priorities straight. It's the worst feeling when you know you didn't try hard enough, and that you deserve better. Bad move, Sam. I put in 75% effort when i should have given studying 200%! But what's done is done, and you can only learn from your mistakes. The only true measure of your growth as a human being is when you don't repeat the same mistakes again. Am i right or am i right?
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. It's been a crazy year,
i'm glad and at the same time sad it's over.
Endings are always bittersweet, aren't they? |
